Only thing is, God somehow put an accidental bad heart in me. I don't mean bad like I'm evil or nothin like that, I mean bad like I'm not strong enough cus it's too small. If you seen my brother Tommy run and me run too you’d be sad cus he’s litteler than me but he run faster. We have races through the fields from one spot to another and he always win. My heart just makes me breathe so heavy and it cant pump like Tommy's can.
When I get to those pearly gates of heaven if I get there (papa does a lot of questioning of it cus I do mean things to Tommy) will they say, WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?! THAT AIN'T YOUR HEART. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DAVEY, BUT YOU DON'T GOT HIS HEART. Because God put in me a heart and here I will be returning with a different one. That's like if I went to school in one pair of shoes that mama sent me in and came back in another pair, I would be mad if I was mama or God.
Maybe I'm ezagagaten a little bit. I don’t think they yell in heaven. Mama always says, "whisper like they do in heaven" when Tommy and I is inside and loud. But I don't think they'd do no whisperin in heaven if I showed up all patched together. I think they gonna yell at me just like I said.
But oh I want a heart and I think I know the reasons why I don't got one, the ones I been told and the ones I thought up. It's a very complurcated thing to get a heart. I seen tin man get a heart in that movie and I tell you what he made it look easy. He just pop it right in. But what's what is that he ain't a person like me.
I think the real problem is mama and all her thinkin that I can't have no other heart but this one that God gave me. I think sometimes God gets busy and makes a mistake. Like the other day mama burnt all the cookies she was bakin but we had to eat them anyways. God wasn't up for wastin me just cus I got one thing bad. Sure I want not burnt cookies even if those not burnt cookies and me with a better heart is better some people might say.
Mama is up to thinkin that if she just pray and pray God gonna help me out. I'm not mad at God, he made a mistake I guess, but I think we can fix it if somebody else wants to let me borrow their heart. I won Tommy's heart in a bet one time, but the doctor said I couldn't really just take it outta Tommy.
I think I wanna let mama know that it's ok if I borrow a heart, cus maybe God is lookin out and seein, oh, Davey need to borrow that heart that's all. And then they let in the person missin a heart to an extra nice spot in heaven cus they was so nice.
Only, I don't think I can tell mama all this cus she wants just me and just the heart I have now, even if it's messed up. I think don't tell mama that I write all these thoughts, don’t tell nobody at all cus it's just silly for me to get a heart that ain't from God.