If I had a dishwasher it would do all my dishes for me. More than just my dishes, it would do all my housemates' dishes for all of us. The dishwasher would make my house much cleaner than it is now because instead of leaving dishes all around the house whoever was drinking out of a cup or eating off the plate, the bowl, or the Tupperware would put those dishes in the dishwasher because dishwashers make cleaning up so easy; so much easier than washing dishes by hand.
If I had a dishwasher my house would be clean and if my house was clean then people would come over more often. We could have more parties because our house would be clean enough to entertain and we would clean up after the parties instead of leaving debris all around because there are enough messes now caused by dirty dishes that we do not bother to clean up much; but if we had a dishwasher there would be less messes around my house and we would clean up the messes that we made. Our clean house would be welcoming for people; people would want to come to my house more. Many more girls would come to my house if I had a dishwasher. People would respect me more for having a cleaner house because people like cleanliness because cleanliness is next to godliness but because I do not have a dishwasher my house is close to godlessness. If I had a dishwasher and the girls who came to my house respected me more then the opportunities of me getting laid would be much more frequent and likely to occur. If I had a dishwasher I could get laid.
If I had a dishwasher I would not eat as unhealthily as I do now. I would not eat fast-food so often, I would not eat fried food at the place right up the road, and I would not eat frozen pizzas and other unhealthy meals like that that I could microwave or heat in the oven which do not necessitate using dishes. I would cook my own meals on the clean dishes that I would have in my kitchen and those meals that I would cook would be healthy because I would be in charge of my own diet instead of fast food restaurants and other conveniences being in charge of my diet. I would make salads with my family's salad dressing recipe. I would cook chicken and pork; and I would cook broccoli and green beans and wild rice. I would snack on apples and oranges. I do not have a deep-fryer so I would not eat deep-fried foods. I would avoid trans fats.
If I had a dishwasher and all my clean dishes inspired me to cook more in my kitchen I would eat more healthily and I would lose weight. I would lose my gut; I would lose my tits. I would lose my chicken legs and I would shape my butt. Because once I start eating well because I have clean dishes and start making my own healthy food I will start to exercise because once I start feeling healthy I will want to get healthier. But I won't just get healthy; I'll get buff. I'll get huge. Chicks dig huge. If I had a dishwasher I would be a chick-magnet; if I had a dishwasher I would get laid.
I would stop spending all my money on food that costs more when I buy it at a restaurant or fast-food joint. I would not buy pizzas for twelve dollars and hundreds of calories just because I did not want to wash the dishes; I would not buy sandwiches to-go because I would have clean knives and cutting-boards and plates at my house. I would not buy sodas and juices to drink straight from the container because I would have glasses and cups at my house to fill with water. I would save hundreds of over-spent dollars by not purchasing over-priced conveniences. I could be rich with all the money I would be saving.
Chicks dig rich. I could impress women with my disposable cash. I could buy things to make me sexy - things like nice shirts; hip, frameless glasses; Calvin Klein boxer-briefs; a trendy watch; you know, things chicks dig. I could buy things to make women feel special - things like jewelry, or movie tickets, or whatever. Women would flock to my money. I would be a ladies-man because I could spend money on women. If I had a dishwasher I would save money on expensive, convenient food and my extra money would impress women and then they would sleep with me. If I had a dishwasher I would get laid more because of my extra money. (Once I stop eating out I could start eating out, if you know what I mean).
If I had a dishwasher my housemates would put their dishes into it. The dishwasher would make my house cleaner and a cleaner house would make me happy - and not just because I would be getting laid more. A dishwasher and a clean house would make me happy because I do not want to live in squalor. I would not become hair-pulling, self-mutilating, skin-bruising, itchy-angry with my housemates for leaving dishes all around the house because they would not leave dishes around the house, and if they did leave dirty dishes around the house for some reason, I would not mind putting their dishes in the dishwasher because putting dishes in the dishwasher is easier than washing dishes. I would not feel like I was cleaning up after them; I would not feel like their servant. I would feel like I was putting things in their place - dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
If I had a dishwasher everything would seem better. My base level stress would decrease. I would walk around with a smile on my face. The sun would shine brighter (except in the early morning when I am sleeping); the cold would be less biting; the warmth would be more comforting; my bike would be less rickety; my classes would be less boring; my friends would be more friendly; my enemies - (wait, who has enemies?) - they would be as nonexistent as ever; my hangovers would be less debilitating; and food would taste tastier. All because I would feel better about life because the dishwasher would make my life so much better than it is now without a dishwasher.
If I had a dishwasher I would be in a better mood all the time than I am now. My better mood would make me more attractive because I would not be walking around with a bunched brow and a frown. I would be walking around with a smile. I would say hello to people and we would stop and chat and I would be a much friendlier person because the dishwasher would have made such a positive impact on my life that I would have very little worries in life. People like friendly people and people would like me more because I would be a friendlier person. Women like friendly people who other people like. My positive attitude and improved worldview would make women like me and want to be with me and they would not be able to resist my charms. If I had a dishwasher women would sleep with me because I would be a better person. I would have a dishwasher and I would be a better person and women would like me and I would get laid.
If I had a dishwasher I would be getting laid so much that I would not have time to do much else, let alone wash dishes, but that would be ok, because I would have a dishwasher to wash my dishes. And I would be getting laid.